An interactive discussion between the moderator and members of the bed briefing family on the topic: WHY NOT CONSIDER HER BEFORE HIM?

Date: 19th November 2020
Time : 7:00 pm
Venue: Bed Briefing House via telegram
Moderator: Miss Jennifer Ezema
Collator: Miss Benita Aniebo

In the western history, women were confined to domestic sphere, while public life was reserved for men. In other places including Nigeria, women were denied the right to vote, hold offices, they had to face harmful traditional practices and in some cases were prevented from conducting business without a male figure.

There came the wave of feminism which FORMALLY started at Seneca falls convention in 1848. Ever since then, the movement has continued till date. And today we have what is called modern feminism.

Defining feminism
Feminism is the belief in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes. Though most feminists are women, The essential feminist belief can be held by anyone regardless of sex which means men can be feminists.

What do you think is the central idea of feminism?
Actually the central idea of Feminism is on the establishment and sustainability of Gender equality in the society. Ok general concept to feminism is that concept that human seeks equality with men but that is a wrong notion. Misconception I mean here lies on the fact that most people see this feminism thing as women raising shoulders and heights over men and over who is highly above which is wrong. It seeks to engage the woman as a person with full right and dignity to compete with the male counterpart in a society where woman are not relegated to the back ground.

Can this equality be attained?
I believe it can but on the basis of what the society should understand as feminist goals and objectives. I also believes we the people from Africa is yet to understand rationale behind feminism. Equality is vague and broad. Even among men all men are not equal.

Firstly, we have to understand that the woman shouldn’t be seen as less human being who is fragile and weak. Goals of empowering women to stand firm as a person who has goals other than get married and cook and born children. The goals that the life of a woman doesn’t move only on anticipating their wedding day.

Do you believe feminism has helped the world in any way?
Of course i do. The feminist movement has effected change in Western society, including women’s suffrage; greater access to education; more equitable pay with men; the right to initiate divorce proceedings; the right of women to make individual decisions regarding pregnancy (including access to contraceptives; and the right to own property. that feminism has reduced domestic violence, especially against men as their likelihood of being killed by a female intimate partner.

Since feminism has contributed this much, why do most people detest feminists and tend to consider them weird ?
Very simple! No proper knowledge about feminism or its goals.

Do you believe our culture is also making feminism look so unusual?
Our culture is of the patriarchal nature but we can rewrite the narratives. Feminism needs to be understood by people of the society.

When we talk of gender inequality, are men also victims of inequality?
And How?

Yes! Men also get assulted, molested, abused, even raped. Men are also bullied by women in places of power.

In the quest for equality most feminists prefer GENDER NEUTRAL TERMS. A Gender neutral term is a term that avoids bias towards a particular sex or social gender . For example, the words policeman and chairman are gender-specific ; the gender-neutral terms are police officer and chairperson since women also take up this duties as well. Some are just against the gender consciousness.

Gender roles in society means how we’re expected to act, speak, dress, groom, carry out assignments and conduct ourselves based upon our assigned sex.

Should basic life skills like cooking and cleaning be considered roles of a gender?
Basic life skills should never be considered as Gender roles. I think the whole idea of Gender role is why the objectification of women still thrive in our society today. Cooking and cleaning are basic skills everyone should learn. Being clean and hygienic is a basic necessity and there is no gender role for that.Thinking that skills like this is a gender role is a misconception that should no longer exist.

Really, but won’t these things show qualities of a wife material?
That’s the damaged yard stick the society uses to measure what a wife should be like. It’s disheartening.

A family with 2 sons and 2 daughters couldn’t afford school fees of them all. They decided to sponsor two most intelligent which were the two sons, do you consider this gender equality or gender equity?
I consider it Gender inequality in the highest order. If not what makes the parents think the girls are not intelligent.

For the Christians, is the concept of gender equality against the Christian belief ?
I don’t think its against the christian belief. Everyone is equal before God.

In conclusion, people are entitled to their own opinion but in all I believe we should seek moderation and avoid being extremists in any aspects. We should also never deny anyone of what they should gain simply because of gender.

God bless you!


  1. Hello, I thank the moderator and collator for the nice write up. I also thank @KingsleyMario for his contribution.
    What I want to say has already been outlined by the collator in the initial post but I still want to buttress on this point because, yes, we have feminists that think right and do the write thing for which the word feminist was made but we still have the “less fortunate ones” who think that they can get things in life which most times they dont deserve just because they are ladies. I believe in the word meritocracy and I think both women and men should not get what they don’t deserve. Most women think they should have or obtain some favours ahead of their male counterparts just because they are ladies or “feminist”. Thank you.

  2. Can both gender be equal?

    Just as two parallel lines cannot meet, equality cannot be achieved among the two gender.

    The fight for equality is not necessary, but the demand for equity is.
    We are differently endowed for different purposes by our Creator, and we can’t change that fact of not being the same.

    There are functions meant for both gender, that can’t be refuted.
    But there are still responsibilities specifically and ordinarily fit for a particular gender. If the opposite gender decides to acquired skills needed for such a task, it becomes a plus and should be applauded. But that shouldn’t deny the fact that some tasks are naturally meant for a particular gender, though exceptions might exist.

    “What a man can do, a woman can do better, ” is a misconception and misplacement of value.
    Women should not battle to do better what men can do,
    neither should a man kill himself trying to do better what a woman can do.
    Women should strive to give the best to what they can, likewise men.
    What a man can do should not necessarily be the same with that of a woman, but each should strive to give the best to what he or she can.

    Gender role makes no one inferior to the other, it actually shows you are better endowed for such a task, and that becomes your strength.
    For instance; a woman taking care of a baby is a natural gift. It becomes extraordinary for a man to do it perfectly.
    A man doing a “hard” job is natural, it is extraordinary to see a woman doing some hard labour.
    God made it so, which is obvious in the difference in our body composition, strength, feelings and even mindset.

    A man is not greater than a woman, neither is a woman greater than a man.
    Not all you can do to a man should be done to a woman and vice-versa.

    Gender equality can never be achieved, but fairness and equity should be encouraged.
    Feminism should be channeled to equity and justice and not necessarily equality.

    Women should not be denied what they can because they are women. Men should not be subjected to what they can’t because the are men.

    With joy, let’s use our different endowment for the good of humanity, betterment of our society and to the glory of God.

    #my little contribution to the discussion


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