An interactive discussion between the moderator and members of the bed briefing family on the topic below.
TOPIC: UNWANTED PREGNANCY…WHY NOT ABORTED?CONSEQUENCES AND EFFECTS ON RELATIONSHIPS.
DATE: 12TH NOVEMBER, 2020
VENUE: BED BRIEFING HOUSE VIA TELEGRAM
MODERATOR: MISS EMELDA EZE
COLLATOR: MISS BENITA ANIEBO
What do you understand by an UNWANTED PREGNANCY?UNWANTED PREGNANCY means when a pregnancy is mistimed, unplanned or undesirable. It is a pregnancy that occurs when no more children were desired(undesirable) or that it came earlier than expected (mistimed). An unintended pregnancy is a pregnancy that is either unwanted, such as the pregnancy that occurred when no children or no more children were desired. A Pregnancy is said to be undesirable when a couple after giving birth to three or four kids decide to stop reproducing but unfortunately after five to six years the wife gets pregnant. This is termed an undersirable Pregnancy and unplanned.Mistimed is when two partners in a relationship decide not to reproduce before wedlock but unfortunately the female partner gets pregnant, it’s termed mistimed Pregnancy.So they are both unwanted Pregnancies as well.
REASONS FOR AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY•Lack and Inadequate Quality of Sexuality Education.•Broken Family home/Parents Carelessness.•Practices of Premarital Sex among Youths.•Peer Group Influence.•Improper Family Planning.•Lack of or Improper Home Training.•Ignorance/illiteracy•Sexual Violence/Abuse•Hardship
LACK OF SEX EDUCATION Some of our parents do have this fear of teaching us all we need to know about sex therefore exposing us to learn from the society, friends, teachers…our teachers on the other hand do skip the part about sex while some with courage go deep in explaining to us all we need to know about sex education. Some that learn outside home or school may end up getting the wrong information and thereby trying to experience what it tastes like and it will lead to an unintended or unwanted pregnancy. Who is to be blamed…The Parents, Teachers or Child? The parents because 1)They should stand as the child’s primary educator. 2)They hide the knowledge from there kids. 3)The parents are the first teacher a child should have. We get formal education from the home which is the basic education. When parents fail in their duty to train a child well, automatically the child fails to be useful to the society.Sorry to ask, what will you say about those people that didn’t grow up with their parentsand the people they live with didn’t teach them?Except their parents are deceased, their parents still is to be blamed. If not, their Guardian. Sometimes, it’s the will of God their lives should be that way for our education now. God is our guardian. If they didn’t grow up with their parents and the guardian couldn’t reach them in one way or other, they will still have the knowledge. They are people in the society that things concerning us bother them. Those people can help in the teaching. The church, school e t.c teach about sex education.
BROKEN FAMILY|HOME AND PARENTS CARELESSNESS Family is said to be the first institution where one starts to equip oneself to grow. But differences have been found to each family. Having healthy and Happy family is what everyone dreams. Many could not succeed it due to different problems. At the point where there is a broken family, parents sometimes do not care about the whereabout of their children. The children will be exposed to the society, some begin to lack moral conduct and advice from their parents and therefore living there lives as they want… this can also lead to an unintended or unwanted pregnancy.
IGNORANCE/ILLITERACY Ignorance is the lack of Knowledge, education or Information about Something. Illiteracy: Inability to read.•This collides with the lack of sex education.Someone who doesn’t have the knowledge about sex can be deceived by an older person who knows more about sex and thereby taking advantage of her Ignorance.•The Problem is that some of us have chosen to remain Ignorant.
SEXUAL VIOLENCE/ABUSE Some victims of rape as a sexual abuse maybe on a robbery attack may in one way or the other become pregnant and on trying to cover up performs an abortion while some among them decide to keep the baby then I ask…When an unwanted pregnancy occurs as a result of sexual violence or abuse and the victim performs and abortion…Will it be termed murder?Yes!Why?Because u have killed a soul. What if she was so frustrated having no other option but to commit abortion.It’s true that she may be frustrated but it’s the will of God. She have to keep the child because children are gifts from God.This will lead us to our next topic, which is…
WHY ABORTION?WHAT IS ABORTION?Deliberate termination of pregnancy.But hope you know it can also be done indeliberately…? Abortion is a deliberate or indeliberate termination of a human pregnancy.Most times carried out|performed within the first 28weeks of pregnancy.Miscarriage is a type of Abortion. But some miscarriages are done deliberately as well.A woman can indeliberately that’s unintentionally lose the baby in her womb…it’s Abortion! But she wasn’t aware of it so it’s not murder in her side.But if a woman knowingly have a miscarriage by taking pills or doing something that will harm the baby in her womb it’s murder on her side.Recall in the above definition, that Abortion can be deliberately or indeliberately done. So here, it falls under the indeliberate Abortion.But most times we all focus on deliberate Abortion(Induced Abortion).
There are two types of ABORTION1. Miscarriage can also be called spontaneous abortion2. The other Induced abortionAbortion is a frequent and one of the primary consequence of an unwanted pregnancy which most times leads to death or damage of womb most especially when handled by unprofessionals. Planned miscarriage Two people in relationship but unfortunately the lady involved gets pregnant and the guy is not ready to father the baby may intentionally add pills to terminate the pregnancy unknown to the lady. Definitely she will have a miscarriage but she wasn’t aware of it and the guy was aware.The guy committed murder but the lady on her side is innocent.The guy may have forced her but she refused so she is indeed innocent because she wasn’t aware of the guys intentions.
DO YOU THINK HAVING AN ABORTION CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIP IN ANY WAY?Definitely the love the guy have for the girl will automatically reduce and for the girl to have the mindset to kill her unborn child, that means the girl can do and undo. It can lead to:1. Discomfort/Fear of the unknown (the lady may not be comfortable having anything to do with a man) which may bring boundary btw them.2. Lack of love3. Lack of trustLet’s look at it in this angle, what if the girl already planned within her to abort the baby, then finally the guy then added the contraceptive pill into her drink. Don’t you think the girl will act or play innocent because the guy has helped her to do the act. Don’t you think the girl is still guilty?If she was really having that in mind she is guilty of the mind although it’s still indeliberate because she didn’t do it herself and wasn’t aware that the guy will. Remember ABORTION is a deliberate or indeliberate act.Actually, Some healthy relationships have been broken due to an Unintended or Unwanted Pregnancy and Abortion.Some marriages are not left out. It takes an understanding couple to fix their problems.A woman may ruin her marriage by aborting her babies or using contraceptives to prevent been pregnant unknown to her husband. Maybe she is running a stressful career and wouldn’t want it to affect her career therefore valuing her career over her marriage and family. This can lead to family problem.A couple may give birth to three kids and decide to stop reproducing but unfortunately after five to six years the wife becomes pregnant due to Carelessness. Do you think the marriage will be affected? and do you advise the couple to take Abortion as an option?The marriage will be affected if there is no understanding and if the child is eventually born into such a home, the child is at great risk of psychological problems and feelings of being unwanted.But I don’t advice abortion either. If they are having problems in deciding to bring forth the child, they should go for counseling but not abortion.The option of putting the child up for adoption is there too but it still would have effect on the child’s psychology later in life.Some persons in a relationship (not married) have broken up cause of an unwanted pregnancy. Maybe by mistake the girl gets pregnant and the boy not been ready for marriage come to talk of fathering an unborn baby decide to pressure the girl into committing an abortion and when she refuses end up breaking up with her and denying her pregnancy. Why some may decide to keep the baby to themselves and it will strengthen their relationship.An Instance:Chike was so much inlove with a certain Ada, their relationship was moving smoothly. After some time Ada became pregnant for Chike and Chike whom is not ready for marriage pushed her into committing an abortion, which after a longtime because of the Love and Respect Ada have towards him succumbed and performed an abortion in other not to risk her relationship. This particular act kept repeating for about three to four times until Ada finally lost her womb. When it was due for Chike to get married he married Amaka instead of Ada.When Ada confronted him he accused her of having the heart of killing her own babies and in the process losing her womb that he can’t marry a Jezebel as a wife. Ada went ahead to remind him of how he pressured her into committing an abortion and his threat when she tried keeping the baby, that he will break up with her and deny the pregnancy.Chike was like…I was only testing you to know how strong you can be….AT THIS POINT….What do you think of Chike and What do you think of Ada?I don’t blame any of them. Both of them are just very scared. Chike is scared of becoming a father but he cannot accept that the consequences of sexual intercourse with Ada will make his fear real. Ada is scared of losing Chike. She does not know that fear of God should come first so she does it out of her fear of losing the one she loved but at last She lost chike .However, first to start with, Chike is seriously sick for saying he is testing Ada. How would one in his right sense say such word when this is a matter of life and death. Secondly, Ada made a huge mistake by killing the unborn babies. I will advice her to meet a priest for penance. After which she continue with her life. Miracle can still happen, Remember there is nothing God can’t do.What if a woman commits Abortion due to pressure not knowing she only have one baby to be delivered on Earth of course she will definitely remain Barren you know.How do you see Ladies that commit induced abortion (terminating their own babies)…?Who is more respected in the society…Ladies who commit ABORTION or Single mothers…?Single mother’s… They are so courageous to carry their cross but when abortion is indelibrate, I don’t blame the lady. Single mothers are better,Some guys these days go for single mothers because they believe that they still have womb. Reasons why some people commit abortion.•Frustration•Stress of keeping the baby•Public embrassment•Family rejection•Expulsion from school•Lack of Income•Some wouldn’t want to be single mothersHow can ABORTION be reduced in the society?1. By stopping stigmatization of single mothers.If the mistake is made already, being a single mother isn’t the worst thing. Stopping the stigmatization will reduce abortion2. By educating people on the side effects and consequences of commiting an Abortion.In conclusion ABORTION should never be an option for an unwanted pregnancy…You are risking your life and future and it is MURDER. Besides taking the life you never made is biblically forbidden and at the same time you are telling God you can actually take a life He made by Himself••• SAY NO TO ABORTION.How can you say no to unplanned miscarriage?By deviating from what you know will harm the baby in the womb.This can occur as a result of stress, psychology, body system etcWhen you are pregnant, you just have to be extremely careful in your day to day dealings.That’s why Pregnant women are advised to go for antenatal. They will be taught all these things. God bless you!