An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.
Topic: Inferiority Complex.
Date: 10th September, 2020.
Venue: Bed Briefing WhatsApp House.
Moderator: Mr Ezea Collins
Collator: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie, Member of the team “Let’s Talk It App”.
Today we will be looking at complicating issues with inferiority complex online with real life experiences and stories.. And the Bigger problem with inferiority complex is that most people don’t even know they have inferiority issues, it’s not certainly about the money one have or the dress one puts on but it’s goes beyond those things.
#So to begin, what is inferiority complex?
-When you judge yourself based on other people’s standards, lives or achievement and if you are not like them, you think they are better than you and have better things to offer than you do.
-Inferiority complex means one degrading his or her self and feeling that others are better than you.
Now according to Wikipedia, Inferiority complex is is a term used to describe people who compensate for feelings of inferiority (feeling like they’re less than other people, not as a good as others, worthless, etc.) by acting in ways that make them appear superior. They do this because controlling others may help them feel less personally inadequate.
Going down its also shows that it involves people who think they are not qualify in anything making them relay on what others say not having a mind of their own..
From the look of things Alot of people today allow inferiority complex affect their self esteem and their way of thinking..
Having said this,
#What do you think is the reason why people feel inferior? Do you think if deals with up bringing, life style, family background or culturally inclined??
-When someone is constantly reminded of his or her shortcomings the person might turn to have inferiority complex.
-In addition, Intellectual, Spiritual and beauty factors. Beauty factor results especially among young women who feel that the other is more Beautiful than they are, begins very early to suffer this lack of personal fulfilment in their lives. Another could be lack of correct expression especially English language, makes one feel as if that’s end of the world.
-Many people have not learnt to accept themselves for who they are. They haven’t learnt to strive to be better than who they were before. Most times they are sad because of the condition that surround them. They feel that they have never had anything good. They haven’t learnt to make do with what they have…. But then, is being myopic also a reason to why people feel inferior, that is lack of enlightenment and proper education and sensitization?
#Case scenario of inferiority complex.
Growing up, I fought to pay deaf ears to what my parents told me about my mates. I didn’t start out bright, but from the earliest days, I had my own plans. So even when I was at the lowest stage I was working on something. It made me not bother about the comparison with my classmates. I just wanted to compete with myself. What happens is that for people without strong will, getting being compared with others make them develop the feeling that they are not enough. That feeling lingers on. It grows with one into adulthood and becomes a major decision-maker. The individual is only safe if they develop a better mindset along the way.
For some, it’s not at home. They learn to be inferior at school, church and other places of socialisation, because every society presents you with classes.
#Do you think inferiority complex begin from childhood? Well, let’s find out….
(I would want to clear that feeling inferior does not start from childhood stage, infact it can happen anytime in a person’s life hence its important to note that even an adult can still be suffering from inferiority complex).
The members Arguing this further contributed by saying that some childhood experiences for example: rape cases can lead to inferiority complex. But according to the moderator, such cases are referred to as #low self esteem.. Low self esteem is a sub-section of Inferiority complex…
For more clarification on this, low esteem can be defined as the lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself.
#Post traumatic experience is it also a cause of inferiority complex?
Post traumatic experience does not cause inferiority complex, rather it can lead to inferiority complex…. From a personal discussion with those who have suffered from a post traumatic experience from childhood perhaps due to rape, I learnt that if they are not worked upon by a psychologist, they grow up to live with it, almost all through their life. They feel something is lacking in their integral personality, they insecure, incomplete and even suffer regrets. More often, they would feel, if this never happened, their life story would have been better. Worse still, they loose confidence in any outdoor performance, hence an aspect of inferiority complex develops in them.
According to American Psychological research on Inferiority complex, it was discovered thst the things that causes inferiority complex is usually from the following
1.Comparison between yourself and others
2. Low thoughts of who you are.
3. Societal pressure and when you feel you don’t belong
4. Psychological effects especially constantly being made to look like a worthless person.
5. Trying to Major up to a standard you don’t fit.
6. Lack of Ability to belive in yourself
7. Constantly being made to look like a failure
#Having said this, the next line of discussion is, how do people know they have inferiority complex??
-When they constantly complain about their lives, they give reasons why they can’t be this or that or do something, they could be withdrawn or come out so overbearing and loud.
-One should know that he is suffering from INFERIORITY COMPLEX when his or her response to any public function is “No. I cannot, I don’t want to, please ooo leave me Biko, Hmmmm, na them sabby, I no dey ooo 😍 and so on.
-Withdrawal social activities….But then, if we say that people withdrawing from social activities is being caused by inferiority complex, do we also say that #Introverts suffer inferiority complex too?
…..There are persons who on their own goes for party, social functions and social activities but to come out and face their fears they can’t, they come to party all they do is compare and contrast between them and others…
#Where do we place such people?
1. Some may have, some may not have. Introverts that have no inferiority complex most times prefer to be the brain behind big achievements…
2. Introvert do not have inferiority complex. That one likes to keep quiet does not mean he or she is suffering from INFERIORITY COMPLEX. Rather the responses given above are signs of INFERIORITY COMPLEX
A story, a certain always gets talked into believing her faith was nothing, her friends tells her about how she wastes so much time trying to protect and probagate a faith that is worthless, after much persuasion she decjded to stop going to church and even decided to do others things than confront this but she always thinks she is smart because she dresses nice speaks well and most times gets to handle stuffs but yet she suffers from inferiority complex.
#This kind of a person, how do they get to know they are suffering inferiority complex?
#what’s the effects of inferiority complex?
1. One can never reach their optimum
2. One can’t achieve set goals
3. One will always be a follower and not a leader
4. One can easily join bad gang and make grave life mistakes
5. One can never make up their mind as they don’t have a mind of their own
6. One would be easily controlled into doing things they might not want to do.
7. One might most probably not progress, they’ll either be stagnant or set back.
#Effects of Inferiority complex on our faith, how does Inferiority complex affects a person’s faith…
1. It makes the person question a lot about his faith and one will become easily gullible to anybody that comes preaching what the person thinks is the solution to his/her problem.
2. The person may begin jumping from church to church and even fall out completely if care is not taken.
3. When can be easily coaxed into any denomination. In Catholic, they range from Church goers to lapsed Catholics.
4. Their faith is weak and they easily become atheists or join another faith completely.
5. They mostly need proof and follow whoever convinces them more or wherever their friends head to.
Well the effect of Inferiority complex on our faith, many people today can’t stand up to ask questions or give they opinion on what they feel and think about the faith they profess, like they are always ready to accept ever hook line and sinker.
A certain lady was childless, yet very very dedicated to her faith, and to crown it all she was a catholic a very powerful one , working in a very wonderful company that pays her well, so one of the days her friend started talking to her about how her church Catholic is a waste and cannot give her anything meaningful, to worsen it Mrs Adeleke couldn’t even defend herself she kept wait and went home, the next day at work her friend ọla thundered after much persuasion, she had to give in to her friend’s thoughts, so she followed her friend to a prayer house where she was told that she must perform some certain spiritual acts with the Spiritualist well she has always lived on what her friend Says she accepted and this turned into illicit affairs till her husband found out and the church also found out.
The husband ended the marriage and the church had to suspend her from recieving communion until she amends her wrongs.
#From this story what have you to say with regards to Inferiority complex making us lose our faith??
#Moving on, how does Inferiority complex affects Our destiny?
How Inferiority affects our destiny and dream……
Inferiority complex makes us Highly competitive streak.
It makes us strive for:
-Perfectionism which we may never be able to get up to or achieve yet to make it look like we feel among inferiority complex keeps pushing us far.
-Attention-seeking: we give away time to so many things seeking attention, the time we have to work hard and think for our own way of life, we try to seek people’s attention killing our time and energy.
Very sensitive to criticism every inferior person would give a whole thing dragging criticism whether good or bad one they would always want to get into all, and this keeps rocking us of our time and energy to move ahead and achieve alot.
Constantly finding fault in others.
Finding it difficult to own up to his or herself.
Inferiority complex makes us think we are not worth enough to be in this department or pursue a particular job it imprisons our mindset making us feel we are not worthy or qualify to be humans.
It’s a disease that hinders one from moving on and achieving greatness…
#How can one or people overcome inferiority complex?
#Testimony1: All I do too is to cry🥺🥺.
I bring a mirror and cry into it, then console myself by myself….
But all that is in the past. It’s been 4years plus..
#Testimony2: It’s God’s love. I don’t know what else to say. I can’t say I looked in the mirror cause I felt worse 😂😂 I can’t say somebody helped me because nobody I knew ever thought I could have felt inferior cause gosh she’s smart and beautiful how can she be inferior. LOL. Some people even later told me that they felt inferior to me and some were jealous of me throughout my senior secondary school.
So how I healed, I don’t know. How I became better is unexplainable. That’s why in this my life, I just want to remain in that love that overwhelmed me…..
#Well to help solve inferiority complex these are the ways down
1. Appreciate who you are, accept you are good no. Mvatter how bad they say you are.
2. Accept you are not perfect and do away anythings negative on your part
3. Build enough esteem.
4. Develop yourself.
5. Add value and more worth to your life
6. Learn to speak out no matter what, it makes you stand out and very straight forward.
7. Build what I call self assessment tools and friendship assessment tools, with this you will be able to know when you are improving or not.
8. Build and set goals for yourself and no matter how stupid your goal is don’t ever think it’s useless.
9. Learn to avoid any form of Comprison no matter who is doing the comparing, also do more of downwards comparison instead of upwards.
10. Avoid any form of toxic or toxicity in your life, in everything don’t always relays on people’s opinions about what you do or want to do.
11. Finally, learn to write, speak and move, get a pen and paper write out all your dreams and goals always write about them even when they are not feasible.
12. Speak to yourselves always and speak with the morrow tell yourself lovely things and words of encouragement and comfort.
13. Always remember that no matter how poor you are, how low class you are, you are amazing in your own way.
14. Be the motivation you expect to see in others.
15. Let your life be the exact replica of what you ever imagined.
#Conclusion and My final story.
Amaka was a house maid brought to the house of a very wealthy man with wealthy uncles and relations, most of them leaving in UK and USA.
Every Christmas, the children born in the family where Amaka with her oga and madam, comes home for Christmas looking hot and classy, poor Amaka will have to deal with living and staying with this family and their show up, being an ordinary house help, she couldn’t fit into the discussion, cause she felt intimated and very inferior, but one thing was very clear about Amaka, she was intelligent and abit beautiful, so even if the rich kids are around, amaka’s beauty can always be noticed. Yet Amaka herself did not see this good signs, and in order to avoid the Inferiority complex she suffers Amaka has to stay alone and always on her own, till one day another sister of Amaka’s madam noticed it and then decided to help Amaka, each time the family gathers she will bring out stories of Amaka’s natural look and How she does well at school with time Amaka saw her worthful she was, she saw she actually had something most people don’t have.
Her beautiful face and Academic covered up for her Inadequacies and she was able to overcome the inferiority complex she suffered.
Today she grow to be Very outspoken person, with motivating spirits for others.
This is a true life story, Amaka is happily working today and very cheerful
#You can be like Amaka just see value in yourself thank you all