An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.
Venue: Bed Briefing Telegram House.
Date: 26th November, 2020.
Moderator: Mr. Collins Dnony.
Collator: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie.
Today we are going to be discussing an important sweet but self evaluating discussion on the premise i am me and no one else…..
Before we begin, it’s important to note that many people don’t truly discover who they are all through out their lives and some who discovers themself don’t feel happy with who they are hence we will be looking at this things and Discuss them as it affects us all.
- Firstly , if you are asked who are you, what will be your respond??
You might say your name. But then, Does your name asks the question who are you? This is the mistake people make. Your name can never be who you are, but its a form of identity that is used in assigning role to you. Not who you are. People forgets who they are and think their name is what informs who they are and that is why human beings find it hard to interrogate the spiritual and physical nature of their existence.
- Second question what makes up a person?
- A personality.
- Physical appearance.
- Intellectual ability.
- So how does this makes up a person, yet, people are not proud of themselves? Who you are does not really mean you name but you content… Your qualities both the + and – aspect.
You need to first of all understand yourself…
If you don’t really know yourself I bet you outsiders will same not know who exactly you are. Remember, your friends act basically on what you display…
Your character tells more of whom you are…
Firstly, you need to learn yourself, some people might think they know who they are till when a day will come and you will exhibit a character that at the end of the day, you will have to ask yourself what actually happened? Was I really the one that did such?…
Knowing yourself has to do with psychology.
- And the process of self discovering starts how? We need understand the basic makeup of a person before moving to self Discovery.
What happens when your motive is not there and there is no motivation?? does our emotions, anger, issues, sexual orientation define and make up who a person??
How do people discover themselves and become proud of who they??
- Its by knowing what you’re capable of doing.
- People can Discover themselves through reading Self Discovery books.. And when they Yield to the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
What happens when society feels you are different from who they expect you to be…
- This is a tough one. Well, societal pressure is one thing that has weighed people down from discovering themselves. The society gives us a view of what is right or wrong even if those views are jaundiced. It takes courage not to confirm to bad societal views.
- What of does that pretend to be who they are not just to feel among? Some act just to be counted in… When this happens, you are acting on a negative direction which assuming you have a smart one among the group who is able to take note of that, it will automatically send a bad signal of whom you are.
How can one even discover him or herself when the society doesn’t give you an opportunity to do hence my next question, should society be blamed for self pity and loss of self esteem we see today? I will tell us a story through life story shared by someone it i believe most of our discussions will come from here
But i ask how can one deal with Societal prejudices placed on a person’s identity??
- Just check yourself, once you are sure what you’re doing isn’t bad, move on. The society will always have something to say about everything.
Her name was Esther born in a very Catholic home lived with her parents and very committed with everything she does, but as she grew up into an adult she discovered she wasn’t fully integrated into the opposite sex she literally didn’t see her self as a marriage candidate, the more she fight it the hard it gets, people began to see her as Feminist, some as evil and devil, infact she couldn’t bear it and decided to be like who the society wants her to be she forced herself to get married two years after the marriage she could not bear it, she was maltreated by her husband, she couldn’t pull out because of being labelled a feminist or at worst lesbian, she continued till one day decided to Leave the country and face her life…
- from her story who is to be blamed, who is to be blamed on her misfortunes?? And is it justified to trade your joy on the alter of societal beliefs??
- Looking around the world people live in pretence no one comes out open or real again why has the world and society reduced to that extent??
- Does society have to define one’s identity??
- Basically we will moving to the stage of the program….
- On acceptance of who you are and know be proud..
- How do people learn to love themselves?
By accepting themselves. Most people always wish to be other people because they don’t like who they are and just wish they could transform to another.
- Why do people find it hard to appreciate themselves?
- Most people don’t appreciate themselves because they didn’t grow up where people are appreciate. They never got statements like “I love you, you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful” and so on. People like this if care is not taken will never appreciate themselves
- What are ways you think one can accept him or herself??
There was a day I was going for lectures just to look good for myself the next thing I got was
Is today your birthday, why are you all dressed up , hmm you know lots of comments like that.
Would try to make you feel somewhat awkward even when doing the right things…
What did I learn from this ? People judge you by their standards they want and expect you to be like them talk like them do things their way.
- Should we put much care into what people say to us or about us? NO!!!! We shouldn’t be so much concerned about what people say about us. Though there is an atom of truth in what people say. And the very truth is that we Know the truth ourselves….so when we are not doing well we know, when we are doing well we know. So in as much as man is egocentric,emotional and loves to be praised we should not forget that not everyone thinks well of us. So I don’t think we should pay so much attention at what people say but yet not neglect it totally.
But there is a problem, why do this comparison happen in chur
Why does our religious groups make people feel worst? Most churches makes people look like they are nothing… We see social exclusion happen in churches…
Here, everything boils down to knowledge. That one is a priest or very religious does not mean they have some knowledge about certain issues like this. To some it’s Greek to talk about self discovery and purpose. And because so many persons don’t have some secular knowledge , are not open to new trends, are rigid with their beliefs even to themselves…. they simply tend to set the standard so high for lay persons who are struggling with self identity…
People are made to regret themselves, why can’t the church accept people for who they are.. It’s in some people’s nature to always look their best in any gathering. It’s only one with low self esteem who’ll feel intimidated by others appearance. Most especially in the cases like spirituality, activities, dressings, donations, etc.
Someone told me i can’t attend church again reason they make people feel inferior and lesser of a human being.
It is important for us to know that the realest and most important adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. Yet, so many of us walk around either not really knowing or listening to an awful inner critic that gives us all the wrong ideas about ourselves. We mistakenly think of self-understanding as self-indulgence, and we carry on without asking the most important question we’ll ever ask: Who am I really? As Mary Oliver put it, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Finding yourself may sound like an inherently self-centered goal, but it is actually an unselfish process that is at the root of everything we do in life. In order to be the most valuable person to the world around us, the best partner, parent etc, we have to first know who we are, what we value and, in effect, what we have to offer. This personal journey is one every individual will benefit from taking. It is a process that involves breaking down – shedding layers that do not serve us in our lives and don’t reflect who we really are. Yet, it also involves a tremendous act of building up – recognizing who we want to be and passionately going about fulfilling our unique destiny – whatever that may be. It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power, yet being open and vulnerable to our experiences. It isn’t something to fear or avoid, berating ourselves along the way, but rather something to seek out with the curiosity and compassion we would have toward a fascinating new friend..
Final Question before conclusion..
- Between our parents, Society, church etc who should we prioritise first, that is, the one we should give more focus to? I don’t think they are ever to be compaired because we have different roles to play to each of them. I won’t prioritize any above the other because my roles to them are distinct,separated and they are all very important for my total formation. And serving my responsibility to them is simply doing the will of God…..
Finally, i will end with this poem and summarise..
I am stuck and can’t get out!
When I am mad I have to shout,
What should I do? Cry, Shout, Hit?
Help me! I’m stuck in a deep pit.
And the pit is holding me …
Lies are holding my legs …
Hitting is holding my arms.
I pushed and pulled and got
away from the pit of Emotion,
rubbing trust on my body like a lotion
Always say to yourself, I’m me and nobody else; and whatever people think I am or say I am, that’s what I’m not, because they don’t know a bloody thing about me. The only one standing in your way is you. Go for what you want at full speed, no hesitation, no questions.
Discover yourself today and be that person you are destined to be, your emotions, your sexual orientation, your Situations cannot define you, they only make up for your active part of life.
What defines you is that thing that makes you feel happy, inspiring, amazing and self productive..
Don’t let anyone make you feel less of yourself or make you feel inferior or less important..
Go out to the world and seek out your purpose and happiness…
- Should we make friends with people whose values are inconsistent with ours?
- Remember that failure is when you spend time and energy with people who are in opposite direction of your goals it can be disastrous.