An interactive session between the moderator and the members of Bed Briefing House.
Topic: Heartbreaks; the odds and the promises.
Date: 27th August 2020.
Venue: Bed Briefing Telegram House.
Moderator: MR EZEA COLLINS.
Collation: Miss Adaobi Obiekezie, Member of the team “Let’s Talk It App”
Question: What is Heart break?
Answer: Heartbreak is said to be an emotional trauma caused by disappointments experienced in love affairs. The main factor that leads to heartbreak when it comes to love affairs is too much expectations in a relationship.
Question: what are the relationships between HEARTBREAK and EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY?
Answers: Both are related when we talk about the effects and they are unrelated when we talk about the cause. Heartbreak is only limited to love affairs. But, emotional instability can be caused by family background, low-self esteem, poverty, business failure, etc.
Question: Since its obvious that heartbreaks results mostly from relationships and failed love. Why then does people’s heart get broken….. Does it imply that people should stop loving or going into relationships?
Answer: No, it doesn’t imply that. It is suggested that
People should be guided when they want to venture into relationships.
People who give out trust should also learn to make room doubts.
People should learn how not to have much expectations in relationships with others.
Question: Does heartbreak have psychological impacts on people?
Answer: Yes it does. Horrible experiences gotten from heartbreak can affect a person psychologically which can affect his/her normal relationships with others. When it comes to the ladies, it makes them have the notion that “All men are the same”. it can also instill a kind of hatred and anger for the opposite sex.
Question: Causes of hearbreak…
Answer: they are
Lack of communication.
Infidelity (Finding out your spouse cheats on you).
Poor definition of love (Entering a relationship without defining it properly).
Question: How can one deal with heartbreak?
Answer: “I think I will just console myself and move on. It could be that the person never meant to do such. Maybe I expected much and I didn’t say my mind at the start”. It isn’t easy, that’s why the weakest heart commits suicide. But then, it helps.
According to another; It isn’t easy. but there’s one thing I did and I have never regretted doing it. After the guy I liked lied to me about not having a girlfriend and I felt so sad and broken, I gave my heart to Jesus. I told myself I wouldn’t give it to any man. So if you love me, you have to go through Jesus and eventually not collect my heart from Him but drop yours.
Other factors also includes: Accepting your faith, crying it out and letting go, keeping yourself busy by hanging out with other friends, Moving on, Leaving everything to God and making Him incharge of your love affairs.
Question: Which Gender suffers heartbreak most?
Answer: some think Men experience heartbreak more but women cry more. While some think it’s women that experiences heartbreak more.
But then, it is in Both gender. Heartbreak in relationship is just like divorce in marriage, it can not be attributed to a gender generally. (Just like rain, it falls everywhere. If you are not with your umbrella, you will be soaked).
There are 5 Ways To Move Ahead and overcome heart Break
- Let go of mementos. If you’ve been dating someone a while, you no doubt have collected items that remind you of the one who left you behind. When you were still dating that person, these mementos meant the world to you and had a powerful impact on your emotions. But now, these same mementos only work to break your heart.
These include things like pictures, rings, pillows, music, clothes, etc. Hanging on to reminders of the relationship will get in the way of moving on. Get rid of them. This can be hard to do because there is something very final about throwing them away. You are finally admitting to yourself, “It’s over. It’s truly over.” This is an important step to take.
- Keep yourself busy by giving to others.
When you were dating, you spent hours and hours with your special someone who has broken your heart. Now you have all this time on your hands. People who get over broken hearts find ways to fill that time with something positive. For example, you might want to get to know your friends again. Hanging out with them will help remind you of the good old days before your ex. Or you can get involved in helping organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or volunteer somewhere else. Filling your time with positive activities will both help distract you and help you feel good again.
- Take care of yourself physically.
It is very difficult to overcome a broken heart when you don’t feel good physically. Not feeling well only adds to your depression. When people have their hearts broken, people either tend to quit eating or begin overeating. Sometimes they try to self-medicate through drugs or alcohol. None of this works and usually makes matters far worse.
When we eat right, we have more energy, more endurance, and less mood swings. Getting good exercise actually triggers chemicals in our brain helping to lift our mood. Have a friend to encourage you to exercise and eat right. Soon you will be feeling better, even if you’re not sure why.
- Realize it’s mostly about you, not your ex.
Any event in our lives is just that an event. The issue comes down to how we interpret that event. Two people going through the same type break-up can interpret it and respond to it very differently. So in the end, it comes down to whether you are going to allow this break-up to make you stronger, or stay a victim. It’s no longer about the ex and how horrible they were or what they did. At some point it becomes mostly about you and whether or not you decide to move on.
If you have the capacity to love, then you have the capacity to be hurt.
- Move on. Finally, that moment comes. Sometimes it creeps up on you. Other times, it’s like a light bulb goes on in your heart and you say to yourself, “It’s time for me to move on. I’m not going to die. The sun will come up tomorrow and I feel myself learning to live without the other person. In fact, I can go a whole day without thinking of him/her.” When that happens, it’s an awesome thing. There’s nothing quite like the realization you have decided to move on.
You have weathered the storm, made steps to be strong, learned a lot of lessons, and avoided a lot of pitfalls.
Go forward…there’s a big world out there waiting for you.
Above all, give your life a meaning, find love in christ and fill yourself with his love and Joy, for he is the greatest defence attorney.
God can heal every broken hearted and can help you overcome all that Tends to take away your joy and happiness.
Always remember that your joy is not found in your friend’s, in your husband or in your wife.
Your joy Is not found in your Boyfriend or girlfriend, it is found in Christ Lord.