Christian Courtship Before Marriage (Vol. 1, No. 5)

Many have regrettably wished to have remained single, most girls report to have encountered irreconcilable difficulties that became increasingly problematic all through their lives. Some girls have been marginalised and perilously threatened at their matrimonial home. Worse still, many have been killed in the cold hands of ritualists who claim to be the man of their lives. at the tribunals we have witnessed many young couples requesting for immediate annulment after few years or months of marital life due to several cases of marital impediments.

Lending credence to the above and to the fact that the welfare of the family is highly decisive for the future of the world and the Church, I stand to sympathetically express the clarification that CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP is a sufficient condition for a happy married life. Courtship is a period of training and formation between the time one officially receives a marriage proposal to the time she gets married. This period lasts for about two to four years. Meanwhile, there’s a clear cut distinction between Courtship, dating and engagement. Dating and engagement come before marriage proposal. Courtship presupposes a precious moment to think, pray and decide the possibility of spending the rest of your life with your intended partner. It also offers opportunity to discern what is intrinsically attracting both parties. Although, at first sight, beauty and riches could have contributed to the emergence of both parties, but in the process of courting, they come to realise that marriage must be built on true love, care, kindness, affection, consideration, sharing and generosity. Hence, the need for both spiritual and social formation.

My grand mother once intimated me how she was taken to the convent in order to be properly trained on how to sustain her matrimonial home. Unfortunately, in this recent time, once one is proposed, Facebook, Twitter, wassap, imo and other information networks will circulate the invitation for wedding things, thereby, substituting the previous periods of dating before proposal as courtship. This misplacement of priority has caused grevious harm to the inherent joy embedded in marriage and the family in general.

Far more importantly, I would like to express the certainty that courtship is not and can never be the time to confirm the sexual capacity of your partner. This is predicated on the fact that marriage built on such misinterpreted affirmation begins to crush the very moment that the young lady starts to put to bed. Besides, many have lost their virginity in a bid to secure the rich man who was superstitiously misconstrued as God’s sent, probably to liberate their family from the shackles of poverty. And at the end, they are dumped for another. At this juncture, I maintain indubitably that sex is not the criterion to commit a man into marriage, for the resultant effect is beyond emotional trauma.

In conclusion, I encourage every youth in our contemporary society, not to sit on their laurels in discerning the right man or woman who will be their most beloved spouse. Thus, marriage is not an end in itself, but a means to the end, which is ETERNAL LIFE!


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